


Veronica vs Max Scheler

by Kitty September (KittyAug)



Category: Sierra Burgess Is a Loser (2018)
Genre: College, F/F, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, Philosophy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-12 22:29:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16004615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyAug/pseuds/Kitty%20September
Summary: It took five years and a semester of Gender Studies for Veronica to realise that she was in love with Sierra Burgess and probably had been all along. It still took a little philosophical musing to get her to act on it.





	Veronica vs Max Scheler

**Author's Note:**

> [For Max Scheler, love] does not afford us a rational understanding of the other person. What it offers is a means by which to participate in the way of being and loving of the other. In order to “understand” the other, we have to love like the other. Afforded in this experience of loving is access to the world of the other and the moral (or ideal) value of the other. It is not a matter of reading the other's mind, of knowing what the other is thinking. Rather, love grants us an understanding of who the other is. The deepest experiences of love for the other reveals the absolute or holy value of the other, grasping who the other could be or ought to become.
> 
> Davis, Zachary and Steinbock, Anthony, "Max Scheler", The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Fall 2016 Edition), Edward N. Zalta (ed.), URL = https://plato.stanford.edu/archives/fall2016/entries/scheler/.
> 
> * * *
> 
> I watched a film last night, I had feels. This is the result.

It took five years and a semester of Gender Studies for Veronica to realise that she was in love with Sierra Burgess and probably had been all along.

Jamey was long gone by then. It was amicable, in the end, but Sierra always had been too good for him. At least that's the best explanation Veronica can come up with. Sierra's always been a little bit too good to be true. They're all still friends, but it's always been more about Veronica and Sierra than it ever was about Jamey. They saw more of Dan than Jamey, and he lived across the country. 

Getting into college hadn't been as easy for Veronica as it had been for Sierra. She wasn't a good enough cheerleader for a full-ride scholarship and her grades had been mediocre before Sierra came along and taught her how to love learning. It took a few years and a lot of saving, but eventually Berkeley City College had welcomed her into the fold. If she did really well in the two year degree she could transfer the credit to a program she really wanted to get into.

And, if it just so happened that Sierra was going to grad school at UCLA Berkeley just up the road, well that was just a really cool coincidence. Mostly. Sharing a tiny off-campus apartment made sense to both of them. In retrospect, it all became pretty inevitable the moment they co-signed that lease.

Dan would make them go to gay clubs so he could pick up guys when he came to visit, and that helped Veronica tick the 'bisexual' box on her Gay-Straight-Alliance membership form, too. She didn't tell Sierra, and she told herself that wasn't lying.

It all finally happened on a perfectly normal Thursday morning. Neither of them had class that day and Sierra had just got out of the shower and was wandering around in a towel and singing. Veronica was admiring the soft curve of Sierra's bare legs, wondering what her freckles might taste like, and trying not to drool. Now that she had realised it, Veronica had no idea how anyone could miss it. Sierra Burgess was beautiful. Even Sierra's ankles were sexy, how was that a) possible and b) fair!

"Ronnie?" Sierra had stopped making coffee and was watching Veronica with tiny frown between her brows. It kind of sounded like it wasn't the first time she'd said Veronica's name. Oops. The frown got worse. "Are you okay?" 

"Um, yeah? Sorry, I was just thinking about… um. Phenomenology?"

Just like that the frown went away and Sierra's face lit up like a sunrise. It made Veronica's chest ache with a deep and abiding fondness even as she felt her skin itch with her own awkwardness.

The phenomenology thing was even kind of true, she had bee contemplating the existential value of Sierra's skin after-all. Max Scheler was a phenomenologist who believed that love was the true source of all philosophy. Okay, so Veronica had mostly been contemplating how much she wanted to experience a more eros driven devotion, but Sierra was certainly the source of both Veronica's passion for ideas and, apparently, her passion for ankles.  Scheler also thought that in the act of love, the value of an object or a person was deepened, revealing its highest or most profound significance. Veronica was always aware of a lot of profound significance in Sierra's smile. There had to be philosophical value in something that good. 

"Yeah? Who are you reading this week?" Sierra asked, genuinely interested because she had to be an amazing person as well as a curvy ginger goddess.

"Max Scheler and Luce Irigaray, for Western Philosophy, and Clare Hemmings for Gender and Sexualities."

"Weird mix?"

Veronica lost her nerve then, shrugged and looked away. She wanted to say something daring. Something to make Sierra smile, and maybe blush. Something smart but sexy. Just drop a hint, any hint, goddamnit. Flirting with other people was never this hard. Even the really hot girl at their local coffee shop who wrote 'cheerleader' on Veronica's coffee. Maybe it was because flirting with Sierra really meant something.

Scheler said love was about knowledge. About a depth of knowing the other, and in so doing knowing the self. For Scheler, love granted an understanding of who the other is. The deepest experiences of love for the other revealed the absolute or holy value, grasping who the other could be or ought to become. Maybe Veronica was just scared there was nothing good to see if Sierra looked back?

When Veronica looked back up from the textbook she wasn't reading, Sierra was still looking back at her. Holding her coffee and considering something. Sierra had freckles everywhere, even very light ones on her lips. No make-up yet. Nothing but skin and soap and a bright yellow towel.

Sierra had an audition on Friday for a big record label. She was acting like it didn't matter, but Veronica knew it did. Knew it would. Sierra had everything it took and one day soon the rest of the world was going to see her shine the way Veronica already could. Soon everyone would know and love Sierra Burgess.

But only Veronica would know what she looked like now. Yellow towel, in front of chipped blue kitchen tiles, hair still a little damp and skin so soft it had to be touched.

Even Veronica didn't know she was going to do it until she was already doing it. She stood up and leaned over the kitchen counter. She took Sierra's coffee cup out of her hands and placed it aside with more confidence than she felt. Sierra's eyes went wide, wide and green-blue-gold.

Sierra met her half-way across the counter. Their first kiss was clumsy, the counter in the way, but Sierra's hands were on Veronica's face and her lips tasted fresh and new and familiar all at once.

Veronica made an embarrassing, aching little sound in the back of her throat when Sierra pulled away.

"Wow," was what Sierra said. Her eyes glittered and Veronica couldn't stop smiling.

"Can we do that again?" Veronica asked, finding some bravery from somewhere. She probably caught it from Sierra when they kissed. "But, like over here, or over there. Just, not with a whole table between us?"

Sierra laughed, that light happy thing that made Veronica's heart sing back.

"Sure, I think we can do that. If you want?"

Veronica didn't bother answering, she just grinned and practically skipped her way around the counter. Before she knew it she had her actual hands on Sierra's actual hips. She could feel the heat of Sierra's skin through the rough towel fabric. She was aware of the fact that a little yellow towel was all that stood between her hands and Sierra's skin. Then they were kissing again, for real this time, deep and sensual. Veronica thought she was going to need to come up with a whole new branch of phenomenology just for this just to map the blissful experience of Sierra Burgess's tongue, and oh god breasts, and hips and nose, and… wow.

They ended up having sex for the first time on the out-of-place but worse for wear white leather couch that Veronica brought with her from home. She was never going to look at that thing the same way again. Sierra was even more beautiful when she came, head thrown back and body clenching around Veronica's fingers, the taste of her stil salt-sweet on Veronica's lips. There was a sheen of perfect sweat along her hairline, her thighs had all new freckles for Veronica to map with her hands, tongue and eyes. She was the most glorious supernova of love and lust and passion that Veronica had ever seen. Even more beautiful, even stronger and more fragile in that one perfect moment than even Veronica had hoped. 

"I think I'm in love with you," Veronica admitted, sex drunk and post-orgasm honest. 

Sierra smiled, that super-hot mischievous one that always made Veronica melt. Then Sierra kissed her again, hard, bit Veronica's lip and licked away the pleasure-pain sting with the tip of her tongue. They moved, swapping places, and Sierra laid Veronica out across the old white leather, like an offering to the gods of sex and 80s decor.

"I think that's my line," Sierra said, honest and brutally soft. She kissed a line down Veronica's throat and Veronica closed her eyes, because she didn't want to cry. That was too cheesy even for her. Sierra's hands and lips traced every line of Veronica's body. Mapping her out for further study. Composing a song of kisses and love with every touch. Veronica gasped and pressed up into every kiss and every caress. Claimed everything Sierra was willing to give her and gave her everything she had in return. It had been building too long not to give in completely. 

They got cold, eventually. Veronica dragged Sierra to bed, and made her promise not to be a dream.

"Dream's aren't this sticky," Sierra said, laughing. It was stupid, and funny, and a little gross, and it made Veronica love her just a little bit more.

At some point they fell asleep, and then they woke up and made out until Veronica's tummy grumbled and Sierra laughed at her for having sex all day instead of eating breakfast. It was four in the afternoon, and it felt like they'd been like this forever. It felt natural and real. Veronica thought she could get used to it, the soft curve of Sierra's belly shivering with gentle teasing laughter under Veronica's hand. They started kissing again, and Veronica thought she could keep doing that forever, but Sierra made her get up and get in the shower instead.

"I'm not going anywhere, and you know where I live!" Sierra said. "We've got all night."

"And all week?"

"As long as you want." That time it was softer, sounded like a confession. Veronica couldn't wait to find out more things in that voice. She wanted forever, and she thought Sierra might just be willing to give it to her.

The shower was too small for two, but by the time she got out, Sierra had ordered pizza from their favourite place. 

"I love you," Veronica said the moment she saw the coconut hawaiian pizza even though Sierra hated pineapple on pizza, and she blushed when she realised just how much she meant it.

"I know," said Sierra, handing over the box. 

"I got that reference," Veronica said, sadly. "That's all your fault."

Sierra just grinned at her. Obviously Sierra saw something worth knowing in Veronica, and maybe that was good enough. It felt kind of amazing, and kind of natural to fall onto the couch next to Sierra and kiss her. Their friendship hadn't always been easy, but it turned out that this was.

Veronica had a feeling this was only the start, and she couldn't wait to know more. Sierra Burgess was perfect, and it was, as Scheler would have said, Veronica's moral obligation to love every glorious inch of her. Philosophy really was awesome, lucky that Veronica had such a good tutor.

They ended up letting the pizza get cold again. It might have taken five years and some cheesy philosophical musing, but it was totally worth it.


End file.
